When Peter Hermann guest-starred on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit in 2002, Mariska Hargitay recalls she had a very strong reaction to meeting him: “My knees getting weak,” she told Entertainment Tonight. “It’s so amazing.”

Now the two will mark their 20th wedding anniversary on August 28. Mariska, 60, and Peter, 56, “just had to be together,” a source exclusively tells Life & Style, noting they attended a church service on their first date — where she sobbed after coming to the realization that he was The One. “For her, it was very overwhelming to realize that, at 40, she had finally found her soulmate.”

Together, they have three children — August, 17, Amaya, 12, and Andrew, 12 — and watching them grow has “erased many of my negative childhood feelings and filled them with something new,” Mariska says of losing her own mother, Hollywood bombshell Jayne Mansfield, as a toddler. “You learn to feel grateful when you are exposed at such a young age to the fact that bad things can happen.”

Mariska Hargitay Overcame a Childhood Tragedy

In 1967, she was in a car accident that killed 34-year-old Jayne and left her with a long scar. “As tragic as her mom’s death was, she had her dad (Mr. Universe, Mickey Hargitay), stepmom and stepsiblings,” shares the source. “Mariska grew up in a stable home surrounded by love.”

These days, she brings the same warmth to her own brood. A close-knit tribe, the whole family traveled to Paris for the Olympics this summer, where they cheered on Simone Biles and Katie Ledecky. “August recently graduated high school, and Mariska and Peter both wept; their baby’s all grown up and going to college,” says the source. “They can’t believe how the time has flown. While they still have a few more years with the younger ones, the thought of an empty nest is a little weird — but knowing they have each other makes it better.”

Indeed, even after two decades, Mariska says she’s still learning about her partner. “Peter is such a deep and soulful human,” Mariska has said. “I just love getting to know him on a deeper level. And so there’s always more.”

Of course, she has her job to keep her busy too: Mariska’s been playing Captain Olivia Benson on SVU for 25 years! Says the source, “Olivia is a part of who she is.”

The show even led her to start a charity to help assault victims. “She loves what she does,” adds the source. “Mariska is just so happy with where her life is at right now.”